Do you find that your efforts to develop your self-esteem and confidence don't stick - and that your inner hurt continues to grow? 

Much of what we read or watch about how to develop self-esteem and confidence is well-intended but does it really generate the deep and lasting changes in our hearts that we need? 

Arrogance vs. Confidence

Over 85% of the US population struggles with self-esteem and confidence.  This is a critical problem.  

Look at media today (e.g., movies, tv,  videos, books.)  Too much is focused on selfish and destructive objectives (e.g., pleasure, prestige, money, power).  

They entice you by focusing on your most selfish thoughts, feelings, and interests.  They encourage you to become progressively self-absorbed.  The more you fall into that endless trap, the more miserable you become.   It is an endless pit, and it never ends well. 

Get Respect:  How to Be Better than Others  

How to come across as the smartest in 30 days.  How to be the most articulate in 20 days.  Be the best dressed, and get promoted in 15 days.  Drive the nicest care to get the prestige you deserve.   

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How to become rich.  How to gain power and influence.  How to get the most beautiful woman of your dreams.  

Arrogance is false confidence and that the person displaying it is overcompensating for their inner inadequacies.” ― Stewart Stafford

Arrogance is thinking and acting like you are better than others. The arrogant look down on others. They overestimate their abilities.  They exaggerate their importance at the expense of others.  They have an attitude of superiority and are overbearing. They have a desire to dominate others.  They have a fixed mindset. And yet, underneath it all, they have hidden insecurities, and they feel more shame.   

Self-esteem is how you value and perceive yourself.  It is to love yourself regardless of your circumstances or even skillsets.  When you have healthy self-esteem, you: 

• Love yourself 
• Focus on your value, strengths, and potential
• Love others
• See the value, strengths, and potential of others

People with self-esteem love themselves and they love others.  They listen more than they speak. They don’t feel as though they have anything to prove. They pay more attention to others and are more likely to learn and grow. 

  Confidence is to believe in your abilities.  Top athletes can have incredible skills in a particular area but have low-esteem. 

You need to continually nurture yourself properly.  When you don't develop your self-esteem, you can become depressed, angry, passive, or submissive.  When you don't love yourself, you struggle in helping others.  Learning to love yourself is a process. 

Many believe that the two great commandments are to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind, and to love thy neighbor as yourself.  You can’t love others unless you love yourself. 

The quickest and most effective approach to building your self-esteem and confidence is to focus on others and be purpose-driven.   As you focus on others, you nurture yourself and you accelerate your growth.  You develop deep and lasting confidence and self-esteem - as long as you stay committed to the purposes that matter. 

When you are purpose-driven, you: 

• Are inspired by a cause that is beyond yourself
• Are focused on love and compassion and serving others 
• Worry less about what people think of you 
• Are willing to be bold and take the right risks 
• Accelerate your growth exponentially 

The key is to focus on others.  You have been given a great gift that rests deep within your soul.  It helps you to learn at deeper levels.  It helps you to discern between truth and falsehoods.  

When you nurture it, that goodness and light you feel in your soul, it grows brighter and brighter. That gift diminishes and can completely disappear from your life if you don’t nurture it.  Many lose this gift because they focus only on their selfish desires.  

Consider when you did something out of pure love and compassion for someone else - and you couldn't hold back the tears because of the joy that radiated so strongly within you.  

Also, consider the less dramatic day-to-day experiences when you feel that same joy that quietly nurtures you along.  

Trust in those feelings.  Trust in yourself.  

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Arrogance vs. Confidence